Spidey Struggles
by ClarinetNation
Summary: Peter Parker thinks that joining the Avengers will be a piece of cake, but he has no idea the death toll that this team faces. The amount of innocent people being hurt makes Peter rethink his decision to join the team, and even be a superhero at all. Story not finished, more to come (Sorry I suck at summaries) TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM
1. Superhero Stress

**The story is set in an AU where Peter said yes to being an Avenger. All the Avengers take a caring role in Peter's life, but Tony and Cap especially (no ship). I hope you enjoy and please give me comments on how I can improve. Stay tuned for more chapters!**

The cold blade glided across Peter's thigh; one cut for each injured victim, five for each dead one. Today's mission was especially bad. Three dead and ten injured. As cut twenty five was being completed, Peter's mind lingered on dangerous thoughts.

 _Just one more. One more won't do any more harm._

He had to shove these thoughts aside.

 _You've done your punishment,_ Peter told himself, _its time to stop now._

He hoisted himself up, using the sink for support, and grabbed some bandages from the medicine cabinet. The bleeding was heavy, so Peter tightly wrapped his injured leg, tears soaking the already wet bandages. He slowly made his way to the bed and flopped down. Only seconds later, Peter realized his bandages weren't only soaked in tears, but his heavily bleeding cuts were soaking through too. Even with his super-healing, Peter was losing a lot of blood. His head started to feel fuzzy and the edges of his vision started turning black. He barely made it to his bed before passing out.

Meanwhile, Tony was sitting in his lab fiddling with some tools. He noticed the day's mission had been especially hard on Peter, and had wanted to go talk to the kid about it, but Cap suggested he give Peter some space.

"Darn Cap and his space,"Tony grumbled. "No matter what I do, something always seems to go wrong with the kid. I don't even know what I was thinking bring a kid onto the team."

Tony tinkered in his lab a little while longer before deciding he was going to talk to Peter. In a few moments, he was at the kid's door.

"Peter," Tony called, "Can we talk?"

There was no answer. Tony tried the handle to find the door was unlocked. He slowly cracked the door open and popped his head in. Peter was lying on his bed with his eyes closed. After watching the kid's chest rise and fall a few times, Tony was satisfied in knowing that Peter was alive and quietly shut the door.

 _I guess that mission was harder on him than I thought,_ Tony thought to himself. He made his way back down to the lab and continued tinkering.

A few hours later, all the Avengers had gathered in the communal living room to eat and debrief from that day's mission.

"Peter!" Tony called at the kid's door.

Peter was jolted awake from his unconsciousness by the older man's voice.

"Yeah?" Peter croaked back, dazed and sleepy from his body's forced nap.

"It's time for dinner. Everyone's out here, just waiting on you...champ" Tony feverishly added in attempts to coax Peter out of his room.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right out. Just give me a sec," Peter mumbled back.

He sat up from his bed, causing his head to sway. He felt a bit better, but eating a meal was not something he really wanted to at that moment. Slowly, Peter pushed himself out of bed. He stumbled to the bathroom, where he changed his bandages and made himself a little more presentable. After fixing himself up, Peter made his way to the door. He took a calming breath and slowly pushed the door open.


	2. Dinner Fiasco

**Hey everyone! Thanks for all the support on my first chapter. I was so surprised that so many people reviewed, followed, and favorited. I'm sorry this took so long to come out. My grandpa has been in the hospital, and with my parents staying with him, I've had to take care of my brother (he's older but has autism). Anyways, enjoy!**

"Peter!" Natasha called, sprinting over to greet him at the door. "Here, we're having Chinese tonight." Natasha explained while thrusting a takeout container into Peter's hands.

"Uh...thanks," Peter mumbled. He didn't want to be rude, but he was more focused on not throwing up at the smell of food than being polite.

"Come sit down, everyone's waiting for you." Natasha explained.

Peter slowly made his way to the table, trying to balance his focus on not throwing up and not falling over. After what seemed like an eternity to him, Peter finally made it to the table.

"Hey Peter, nice to see you out of your room" Steve Rogers told the young boy.

"Well there's a first time for everything." Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, mumbled under his breath.

"Clint!" Natasha whisper-screamed while giving Hawkeye's leg a swift kick under the table.

"Anyway..." Steve continued, "We were just debriefing from the mission today. Why don't you share your perspective of the events."

After pausing a moment, Peter responded. "Um... I messed up... and a bunch of people died because of it.

"Peter, that wasn't your fault," Tony jumped in, trying to console the young hero.

"Yes it was!" Peter screamed, his head spinning. "And anyone who thinks it wasn't my fault is wrong! I killed those people! Their blood is on my hands!" Peter stood up swiftly, causing himself to become even more dizzy.

"Peter sit back down! Let's talk about about this!" Tony exclaimed to the upset teenager.

"Just leave me alone!" Peter wailed back. His head was spinning and his stomach felt uneasy. He started to run out of the dining area and into the hall that lead to his bedroom. His legs felt like jelly and black nothingness started encroaching on his field of vision. Tony called out to him, but he couldn't understand what the man was saying. Everything sounded as if it was underwater.

Moments later, Peter felt his body hit the cold floor. It was hard but it didn't hurt. He was just so tired. The teenager slowly closed his eyes, thinking, _Just one short nap won't hurt. I just need to get my strength up and I'll be good as new..._


	3. The Hospital

**Hey everyone. Hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know if you find any mistakes. This is my first fanfic so I'm still new at it. :)**

Peter's eyes slowly cracked open. With squinted eyes, he looked up at the white ceiling. _Where am I?_ He thought. Peter looked over and saw Tony Stark sitting in a plastic chair next to him, eyes closed and head in his hands. Peter went to lift his hands to his face, but after his arms raising about two inches, he felt something tugging on his wrists. Looking down, the teenager spotted a soft cuff around each wrist.

"Mr. Stark!" Peter screamed, "Get these off! Let me out!" Tony jolted out of his half-asleep position at the noise from the young boy.

"Peter! You have to calm down! It's okay! Just calm down!" the older man shouted. Peter was becoming more agitated by the minute. He was thrashing around in bed in attempts to break free from the restraints. "You can't break through those Peter. I made them to counter your super strength." Tony explained to the teenager.

"No! You have to get me out! How could you do this to me?" Peter screeched back, obviously not listening to a word Tony said. The young boy struggled against his extra-strong restraints, screaming and crying while his body flailed. Tony tried to approach Peter to calm him down, but every step closer resulted in the young boy screaming something along the lines of "I hate you!" or "How could you betray me like this?". As a result of Peter being so upset, he started hyperventilating. All the hyperventilating made the his heart rate shoot up through the roof. His heart monitor that niether Tony nor Peter had noticed before started blaring a loud alarm. Unfortunately, this alarm made Peter panic even more, causing him to breath even faster than he was before. Thankfully a nurse came rushing in moments later. She inserted a syringe full of something into his IV tube. Not long after, Peter's breathing started slowing down and he stopped violently thrashing against the restraints. After noticing the quizzical and concerned look on Tony's face, she turned to him and matter-of-factly stated,

"Don't worry Mr. Stark, I just gave him a dose of diazepam to calm him down. Once a patient gets that out of control, we have to sedate them for their own good." Tony looked over at Peter who had calmed down significantly and was slowly opening and closing his eyes as if he were trying to stay awake. Tony walked over and sat down next to the teen.

"Peter, do you know why you are here?" asked Tony.

"I dunno" Peter snapped, turning his head away from Tony.

"We saw the cuts Peter. Everyone did. I have to ask, did you do those to yourself?" Tony pressed, even though he knew the answer was yes.

"Just leave me alone!" Peter wailed, turning his back to the older man as best he could with his wrists restrained to the bed.

"Alright Peter, I'll give you some time alone, but I need to remember that we care about you. Me, the team, we're all in your corner. Just please let us help you. We're here when you're ready." Tony explained in an attempt to comfort the young hero. When his words were me with silence, Tony pushed the door open and disappointedly left the teenager's hospital room.

"How is he?" Steve practically screamed, jumping up from the plastic hospital chair were he had previously been sitting. The Avengers has all been taking turns sitting in the waiting room so there was s

"Angry," Tony replied, a disappointed lilt in his voice. "He blames me for the hospitalization and the psych hold"

"He'll come around eventually," Steve told Tony to comfort him, even though he wasn't completely sure the kid really would forgive any of them. "What you did was for his own good. He had passed out from blood loss, and taking his advanced healing into consideration, he must have cut really deep."

"I know what we did had good intentions, but I can't help feel like we did the wrong thing. Peter was really upset and scared in there. What if hospitalizing him does more damage than it helps." Tony confided his worries in Steve.

"He needs help. And you gave him the help he needs. You did the right thing," Steve assured Tony. "Now, go to bed. It's almost 4 in the morning and you need sleep."

"I guess," Tony replied, " But I don't know how I could sleep with all my worries about Peter on my mind."

"Good night Tony!" Steve called as the man walked towards the door.

"Good night Steve," Tony replied while letting the door close with a _thump._


End file.
